I'll survive

Somehow I always do.

I know I have friends but I feel like I have no one to talk to about the shit that goes on in my head.

Cause truth is, I've been going through some shit.

I've been going through some shit for a while now and I feel like people don't realise how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you.

It is not them, it's me.

My heart and I.

We are beyond

fixing now.

I have no love,

left in me,

to give anyone. (Abhishek Gupta)

It's not you, it's me.

I am not sad because you did something wrong, I am sad because all wrong is in me. And whenever a hint of right brushes past my skin, all the demons inside me curl up their bodies in horror.

There is a demon living in my head, But she answers to my name, she tells me stories late at night, that are messing with my brain. When I stand before a mirror, she laughs at what I wear, the freckles sprinkled on my face, and the way I tie my hair. Do the people sitting in the train, fight this demons too?

The kind that make you doubt yourself, and tell you what to do, maybe that is why they never talk. Because they are screaming in their head, why would you hate someone else. When you can hate yourself instead? (e.h.)

Please do not worry about breaking me or making me sad. Because you can't break something that is already broken and sadden someone who is already sad.

And yet today I realised that I am the biggest hypocrite of all. I tell everyone to keep holding on, that there is light at the end. That everything gets better as long as you continue to wait.

I always tell people to have hope. That they need to keep trying because it is too early to give up. That they have so much to live for.

Then there is me, and I am barely holding on (J.W.)

But I am working on it and things work out, you know? Even if it does not feel okay for a long time, or even if it feels like things will never be okay again, everything works out in the end.

"No one can save you but yourself - and you're worth saving. It's a war not easily won but if anything is worth winning - this is it"

-Charles Bukowski.